This is a continuation of last week’s post: 7 Things Every Girl Should Know Before She Gets Married (Part 1).
4. Dating shouldn’t end after “I do.”
Many movies & books we read end right when the characters are gazing longingly into each others eyes saying, “I do!” But unlike fictional relationships, real life happens in-between ‘I do’ and ‘happily-ever-after’. I have heard too many married women reminisce about the good ole’ days of dating. “I just don’t have that same ‘feeling’ that I did when I first met him.” “He doesn’t make my heart flutter like he did when were dating.”
My question is, “Who said being married meant the dating period was over?” If dating was and is the highlight of our relationship, we have a big problem. I’ve heard it said, “We shouldn’t date to marry. We should marry to date.”
Ladies, dating isn’t that period before you get married. Dating is part of the life-long romance between you & your spouse, and like most things in life, it is going to take some creativity and a little good ‘ole fashioned work. Beautiful things don’t flourish by themselves, they need cultivating.
Why wait for him to romance and date you? Take the initiative – he will follow.
5. Do not, I repeat, do not compare.
Here is one favor you can do for your future husband – never ever compare him to any other man. Again, media has done a smash-up job of setting us up for unrealistic expectations where men are concerned.
I once heard a story about a Pastor counseling a young couple in his office. The woman was evidently upset with her young husband. The Pastor asked the young lady what the problem was and she cried, “He doesn’t treat me like Bobby treats Susie! The Pastor turned to the husband and asked the young man to whom she referred and the distraught husband said, “They are characters on a TV show she watches.”
We might laugh and think this girl very foolish, but how many of us are guilty of the very same thing? We watch our movies, TV shows, or read books and cannot help but compare our real-life men to these storybook men. And it’s simply not fair. Those men do not exist. Yes, you heard me – Mr. Darcy is a fake! Someone sat down and created a perfect man for a good story line. Their lines are pre-written along with their actions and reactions. Sadly enough, most of the time the actor who is portraying this desirable character is on his third marriage and needs Jesus more than you know.
We also need to stay away from comparing our future husbands to other men in our lives. When you make a decision to spend the rest of your life with a man, you are about to get up close and personal with him. You will see his faults. So be very cautious not to compare his faults with other men’s strengths. We are to be his helper, not his judge.
6. Put your husband second.
Your future husband should never hold first place in your heart. The only one who should ever hold that position is Jesus. If you try to put any other man in that first place spot, you are going to be sorely disappointed.
Your husband will at some time or other let you down and disappoint you. In the same way, you will let your husband down and disappoint him. We are human and we make mistakes, but Jesus will never let you down.
When you exalt Jesus to the upmost place in your life and marriage, Grace Himself will step into your marriage and go to work. Instead of facing disappointments and let-downs, you can rely on Jesus to always exceed your every expectation. And in the process, bring your relationship with your husband to a whole new level. Talk about the perfect love triangle!
We love each other because He loved us first. 1 John 4:19 NLT
To be continued…(Read part 3)