I’ve been praying for a while now for God to give me His eyes for those around me. To not only see those He wants to encourage in their joy, but more so, to see those in need of His love.
This last week He gave me a glimpse of what He sees and feels when evil tears away at the life of one of His children. It’s hard to describe this evil, except appalling and destructive.
It hit me like a punch in the stomach and left me staggering. It overwhelmed my senses and the only thing I could do was pray… And pray hard.
I saw it in the face of one of my patient’s, a life brutally marred by evil. And a few days later, in the words of Ann Voskamp as she wrote about the Yezidi and Christian women and children being sold and ravaged for pocket change.
It left me broken, stunned, and wondering what I could do to help. I didn’t want to just weep over their loss and pray. I wanted to be emboldened. To fight. Fight for our sisters and push back against the enemy, instead of just ignoring because it’s easier on my emotional state.
I want to have eyes wide open to what God is doing and wants to do through me. I don’t want to be afraid of seeing evil in the world because it makes me feel things, or because it reminds me life isn’t always pretty and picture perfect.
I want women all over the world, but especially those close to me, to know we have each other’s back. We are a team, a united front. We don’t have to battle the enemy alone, we don’t have to wage our own individual wars.
We are a body, and when a part of our body is hurting, we don’t neglect it. We simply can’t. We have to acknowledge the carnage, prevent the injury from progressing further, dress the wound, and daily look after it to enable continued healing.
Neglecting an injury only leads to a more catastrophic outcome. Neglecting women who are being victimized by evil every day will not heal our body. We as one body must seek the Father’s heart in response to need.
I’ve been praying for His eyes and ears and yet this last week just a glimpse of depravity was almost too much for me. I had to face the fears it flared up, cry out to God, and ask Him what He wanted from me.
Initially it was a burden, I felt overwhelmed by the pain, but the Holy Spirit quickly reminded me of Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
As I let myself feel and see their pain, I found my heart hurting as the Father’s heart does for these people. I saw Jesus being bruised and beaten for me, for them, for the hurting. I heard Him whisper, “Whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters you’ve done for me” (Matthew 25:40).
The pain I felt, the loss for these women and children, I felt His heart breaking for them too. Feeling the depths of His love awakened me. It refocused me, it gave me purpose in the pain, comfort in the sorrow.
I don’t want to live in a world where we blind ourselves to sadness, and where the pain of those around us, of our brothers and sisters, is too uncomfortable to bare.
Jesus is in the midst of the hurting. He isn’t afraid to feel sadness, to walk alongside us in the muck of stolen dreams and scarred bodies. He knows what He has to offer is better. His love can change what evil has contorted and make it beautiful and whole.
I want that. I want to recognize need, both great and small, communicate with my Father and act accordingly. To not shy away from pain like I have in the past but when God opens my eyes to it, to respond in love.
I’m tired of trying to understand sin and how the enemy can be so vile. I can’t change that, but I can change how I respond.
No more will I be asking ‘Why God?’ but rather ‘What God?’. What would you have me do?
I have found focusing on Jesus and His love is much more rewarding and peaceful than trying to get answers to questions that don’t even matter.
Wherever God has you, I challenge you to pray for Him to open your eyes to need around you.
Maybe He’s calling you to go abroad like Ann in Iraq and ignite a fire in women all over the world. Maybe it’s at home in your neighborhood. I guarantee you there are women around you raging war in their personal lives that need encouragement, that need truth spoken in their weak places, that need love and a body of women to surround them and speak life.
That is love.
That is being Jesus in the small details of this thing we call life.
That is transformational.
About the Author:
“Worshiper of Jesus. Married to my best friend. Registered Nurse. Amateur gardener. Outdoor enthusiast. Lover of books, coffee, and writing. Dog mom.”